Most of the people who retire in Florida
Are wrinkled and they lean on a crutch
And mobile homes are smotherin' my Keys
I hate those bastards so much
I wish a summer squall would blow them all
The way up to fantasy land
Yeah they're ugly and square, they don't belong here
They looked a lot better as beer cans

Chorus:
Yeah, and that's why it's still a mystery to me
Why some people live like they do
So many nice things happenin' out there
They never even seen the clues
Whoa but we're doin' fine, we can travel and rhyme
I know we been doin' our part
Got a Caribbean soul I can barely control
And some Texas hidden here in my heart

Well now I might have joined the Merchant Marine
If I hadn't learned how to sing
And on top of all that I got married too early
'Cost me much more than a ring
But now those crazy days are over
Just gotta learn from the wrong things you done
I came off the rebound, started lookin' around
Figured out it's time to have a little fun

Chorus:
Yeah, and that's why it's still a mystery to me
Why some people live like they do
So many nice things happenin' out there
They never even seen the clues
Whoa but we're doin' fine, we can travel and rhyme
I know we been doin' our part
Got a Caribbean soul I can barely control
And some Texas hidden here in my heart

Well now if I ever live to be an old man
I'm gonna sail down to Martinique
I'm gonna buy me a sweat-stained Bogart suit
And an African parakeet
And then I'll sit him on my shoulder
And open up my trusty old mind
I gonna teach him how to cuss, teach him how to fuss
And pull the cork out of a bottle of wine

Chorus:
Yeah, and that's why it's still a mystery to me
Why some people live like they do
So many nice things happenin' out there
They never even seen the clues
Yeah but we're doin' fine, we can travel and rhyme
I know we been doin' our part
Got a Caribbean soul I can barely control
And some Texas hidden here in my heart

Coda:
Yeah, got a Caribbean soul I can barely control
And some Texas hidden here in my heart (yodelling...)