Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues - Bob Dylan

    Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
    I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do,
    Them Communists they wus comin' around,
    They wus in the air,
    They wus on the ground.
    They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .

    So I run down most hurriedly
    And joined up with the John Birch Society,
    I got me a secret membership card
    And started off a-walkin' down the road.
    Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now!
    Look out you Commies!

    Now we all agree with Hitlers' views,
    Although he killed six million Jews.
    It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist,
    At least you can't say he was a Communist!
    That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.

    Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.
    I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,
    Looked in the sink, behind the door,
    Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
    Couldn't find 'em . . .

    I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,
    I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair.
    I looked way up my chimney hole,
    I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
    They got away . . .

    Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
    Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
    Peeked behind the picture frame,
    Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
    Them Reds caused it!
    I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.

    Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
    Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
    Followed some clues from my detective bag
    And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag!
    That ol' Betty Ross . . .

    Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
    Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
    I investigated all the people that I knowed,
    Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
    The other two percent are fellow Birchers . . . just like me.

    Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,
    Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
    To my knowledge there's just one man
    That's really a true American:  George Lincoln Rockwell.
    I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.

    Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
    When I run outa things to investigate.
    Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
    So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
    Hope I don't find out anything . . . hmm, great God!
     

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    Marco Giunco
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