So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the John
Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership
card
And started off a-walkin'
down the road.
Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher
now!
Look out you Commies!
Now we all agree with Hitlers'
views,
Although he killed six million
Jews.
It don't matter too much that
he was a Fascist,
At least you can't say he
was a Communist!
That's to say like if you
got a cold you take a shot of malaria.
Well, I wus lookin' everywhere
for them gol-darned Reds.
I got up in the mornin' 'n'
looked under my bed,
Looked in the sink, behind
the door,
Looked in the glove compartment
of my car.
Couldn't find 'em . . .
I wus lookin' high an' low
for them Reds everywhere,
I wus lookin' in the sink
an' underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney
hole,
I even looked deep inside
my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .
Well, I wus sittin' home alone
an' started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my T.V.
set.
Peeked behind the picture
frame,
Got a shock from my feet,
hittin' right up in the brain.
Them Reds caused it!
I know they did . . . them
hard-core ones.
Well, I quit my job so I could
work alone,
Then I changed my name to
Sherlock Holmes.
Followed some clues from my
detective bag
And discovered they wus red
stripes on the American flag!
That ol' Betty Ross . . .
Well, I investigated all the
books in the library,
Ninety percent of 'em gotta
be burned away.
I investigated all the people
that I knowed,
Ninety-eight percent of them
gotta go.
The other two percent are
fellow Birchers . . . just like me.
Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian
spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson and that
Roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there's just
one man
That's really a true American:
George Lincoln Rockwell.
I know for a fact he hates
Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.
Well, I fin'ly started thinkin'
straight
When I run outa things to
investigate.
Couldn't imagine doin' anything
else,
So now I'm sittin' home investigatin'
myself!
Hope I don't find out anything
. . . hmm, great God!
Marco Giunco |
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