Dashing through the turnstile
With a loaded .38
He gets any seat he wants
He never has to wait

He's the hero to the many
Who ride the underground
And claim that when you need a cop
There's never one around... Oh

[CHORUS]
Bernie gets, Bernie gets, Bernie gets off free
Oh what fun it is to go out on a shooting spree (repeat)

The mayor's hugging Bernie
It's re-election time
The New York Post is asking Koch
Just where he stands on crime

"I'm against it, How'm I doin'
Give me five" the mayor quips.
This makes Bernie nervous
And his trigger ringer slips... but

[Repeat Chorus]

Vigilantes are so charming
The jury sure was grand
They've given us encouragement
To arm and take a stand

Now no one goes to movies
Or the theater for a play
They head down to the IRT
To blow other folks away...Oh!

[Repeat Chorus]

Poor Bernie got indicted
He'll have to go to trial
I guess that we will see him
On the TV for a while

See, Bernie shot his gun off
And still he wasn't through
He finally got in trouble
When he shot his mouth off, too... but

[Repeat Chorus]

© 1985 Roger Deitz