I didn't mean it when I said I hope the cable
in the elevator snaps when you step on board
and I was joking when I said I hope you crack your head
and get mangled by the downstairs revolving doors
and I was kidding when I said I hope the #103 bus
hits and makes a pancake out of you
I'm sorry I'm sorry
but isn't it amazing what a man in love will do

And I really don't want to see your taxi on the 59th Street Bridge
flip over and crash through the rail
and I'd feel bad if at the airport you were mistaken
for a local sex offender
arrested, beaten up and thrown in jail
and I really don't want to see you getting radiation poisoning
from the metal detector
that all passengers on foreign and domestic flights
must walk through
I'm sorry
forgive me
for all the mean things I said to you

You thought I didn't have a temper
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha surprise
but I really don't want to see you
dismembered by the marijuana sniffing dogs
when a simple little nipping would suffice

And I'm sorry that I said I hope
the plane explodes in mid-air
as it carries you away from me
and I'm sorry that I said
I hope you break both legs
on the mountain while you ski
and I'm sorry for all the nasty things
I said about your mother
even though we both know they're true
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm swallowing my pride
I'd feel so guilty if you died
Oh I'm sorry
but I'm still mad at you